Beware the smug

I’m typing this crouched on a z-bed in my sons’ room. It’s 8.18pm and I’m on look out.

About 20 minutes ago I trudged upstairs – reluctantly leaving my gin in a tin and Pom-Bears behind – to shouts of ‘There’s a poo. A POO. On the carpet.”

Oh boy.

I walked in just in time to see my youngest step and slide in his brother’s giant turd.

I have a feeling this dirty protest was the result of some over zealous bed bouncing. Because as I cracked open my gin and scrolled through Instagram in the hope of beginning MY evening, the boys were on the rampage. Again.

I have a mountain of To Dos to climb. Why won’t the bastards go to sleep?

I brandished the almighty marble jar. Threats were made. My shouts reverberated through our sleepy village. I felt utterly powerless, and exhausted.

It was only about a month ago that I smugly reflected on how angelic my boys were at bedtime. We breezed through bedtime. My youngest – although a pretty terrible sleeper – for some inexplicable reason never needed assistance nodding off. Pop him in his cot and away he went. My eldest is no rule breaker. He loves his bed. He loves sleep.

I was one of those mothers we all hate.

We could book babysitters for 7.30pm smugly confident there’d be no trouble. They wouldn’t hear a peep. Because we were pros. Oh, the smug.

But then the unthinkable happened.

About a month ago Blue Eyes – aged 21 months – scaled his cot. One of our usual, easy-as-pie nights, I was reading Curly Boy a book, knowing – smugly – that Blue Eyes was tucked in and drifting off. Until I heard the unmistakable pitter patter of his chubby feet. And that was that. We had no choice but to unleash the beast.

And since then, well life has been somewhat different. No more binging on box sets of an evening, no more cooking at a relaxed pace, no more ticking off the to dos, we’re lucky to be left in peace before 9pm. And before this we have to endure hours of tedious toddler antics. By 9pm we are beaten.

I have learnt an important lesson. Never ever be smug.

Because as soon as that smug thought drifts out of your mind and hangs in the air, all puffed up and priggish, you’ve had it. That little self-conceited bubble is just waiting to burst and you’ll be left utterly bewildered.

This is why parenthood is so challenging. This is why mummy bloggers are taking over the world. Because the fun never stops. There is so much material out there. Each week presents a new test. The rules are constantly changing. One minute you’re nailing it, the next you got nothing.

In my darkest moments of parenting, cowering silently in a blackout-blinded room, my only friend a Smartphone, reading blogs has got me through. Because none of this is new.

As I pondered what to write for #BISS – something fresh, different maybe – it occurred to me that what I love about parent blogging is the reminder we’re not alone in this crazy world.

I stop pounding the keyboard. I can finally hear the sweet snores of my boys. Two hours too late, maybe. But all is forgiven.

18 Responses
  • Mrs T (@SothisismeMrsT)
    June 13, 2016

    kids!! great post did make me smile. got to LOVE gin in a tin #fartglitter x

    • Devon Mum
      June 13, 2016

      Thanks so much Mrs T @SothisismeMrsT – I don’t usually write such honest, warts and all posts but the words flowed easy that particular night! And this is my first #fartglitter and second ever Linky! Just trying to get to grips with the social side of blogging. It’s so addictive! Thanks for reading. Really appreciate it.

  • laughing mum
    June 13, 2016

    haha! we’ve all done the ‘smug’ thing and have it bite us on the arse! 😉 enjoy your G&T my dear, your not alone! #fartglitter

    • Devon Mum
      June 13, 2016

      Thank you laughing mum! Took the boys on a massive uphill route march with bikes today. Didn’t hear a peep from them after 7.30pm – whoop whoop! I need to take our day time activities up a notch, clearly. Thank god for Gin in a Tin! Thanks so much for reading.

  • Rhyming with Wine
    June 13, 2016

    I do sometimes find myself chastising my own smugness, and giving myself a harsh talking to for even daring to think that we’ve got any element of this parenting malarkey nailed. The little treasures just keep moving the goal posts don’t they?
    Ah well, at least we can half inch their Pom Bears to make up for it #theylllearn 😉

    Thanks for linking up with #fartglitter x

    • Devon Mum
      June 13, 2016

      We all need a pat on the back every once in a while – a little celebration when things are going our way. But we were definitely smug – and getting pretty complacent. Ah well. You live and learn. Tonight all was surprisingly calm…MUST NOT BE SMUG ABOUT IT! Thanks for reading. This is one of my first Linkys and it’s a real treat hearing from other bloggers and feeling part of the #fartglitter fold. Thank you!

  • turningupindevon
    June 13, 2016

    I feel your pain having to leave your pom bears and G&T in favour of a poo!! Agonising! There’s something so moreish about Pom Bears and indeed a Gordons……but I digress.v funny post, smug never last long does it! #fartglitter

    • Devon Mum
      June 13, 2016

      Good to see you again turningupindevon! I am addicted to Pom Bears. There, I’ve said it now. I can’t stop buying them ‘for the kids’.

  • I can’t stop eating Pom Bears. I pretend I buy them for the kids… but that’s just a big f*ck off lie. I think the kids only think there’s 4 smaller packets to a big pack! #FartGlitter Cheers, Maddie

    • Diary of a Devon Mum
      June 13, 2016

      I’m glad I’m not the only one! When feeling a bit adventurous I like to dip them in houmous. But they are definitely best served with gin. Thanks for stopping by Maddie

  • jermbarnes
    June 14, 2016

    very funny,. I don’t think there is a one of us that hasn’t fallen into this trap. The worst tantrum mine has thrown in the last three months was about 20 min about watching another kid and thinking about how glad I was mine doesn’t act like that #fartglitter

    • Diary of a Devon Mum
      June 14, 2016

      I’m glad I’m not the only one jermbarnes – with my eldest, when he was at that contented age between 1 and 2, I remember seeing other toddlers starting to experiment with tantrums. I was like, “I’m so on it, I meet all his needs, he doesn’t need to throw a tantrum, he’s just so compliant and content.” Fast forward a couple of months to when Terrible 2s hit and I basically had to give up on playdates for a while – he was that vile. Served me right!! Thanks for stopping by.

  • moderatemum
    June 16, 2016

    I’m not sure I feel greater angst then when I really need my son to go to sleep and he just won’t. It’s always when I have a night out or a deadline, I swear he can smell it #FartGlitter

  • discombubulated
    July 13, 2016

    God I love gin and tonic in a can and Pom Bears! I’m going to eat some now! (Sadly no gin). I’ve also just started on the old Linky train…gosh it’s a minefield and very addictive isn’t it? Warts and all posts are the best I think. Keep them coming!! 🙂

    • Diary of a Devon Mum
      July 13, 2016

      Totally addicted to the cucumber version – much easier to crack open a can and slurp away!! I have been very impressed by your Linky activity – so far only tentatively dipped my toes in. Want to dive in – just never enough bloody time to write (especially if the buggers won’t settle until 9pm). Loving your blog – you should enter the #BISS Linky competition.

      • discombubulated
        July 13, 2016

        Exactly! The Linky stuff is good but it’s itself a real time thief and it takes me away from actually writing!! It’s a balancing act alright, just finding my feet still. Mine are rarely all settled until 8.30/9 and by then I’m toast!! Ooh thank you I will take a look at that! xx

  • discombubulated
    July 13, 2016

    Oh I’ve just realised I have been entering the BISS competition thing!! 😉

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